51 Funny Facebook Status Updates And Quotes

These Funny and cool facebook status updates and quotes are entertaining and have the potential to make people feel hilarious. Sharing these funny and best facebook quotes with friends would be quite a cool idea.

Best and cool facebook status updates and quotes are appealing for people who are entertaining and also desire to make other people feel hilarious.

Facebook status updates are a great way to let your friends know what you are feeling and what is happening in your day to day life. So share a fresh facebook quote with your friends and let your loved ones and friends

know your witty and funny mood.

Here is a list of 51 best Facebook status updates that have potential to brighten up your status. Each and every Facebook quotes and sayings are awesome and brilliant, just have a look:

1.Do U like ME as I am??
Do I hav 2 request God to improve ur taste..!

2.Dear Heart...
Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood only

3.Facebook daily asks me"whats on your mind?"
how can I daily tell them YOUR NAME .......

4. I want a SLAP button instead of the POKE button...

5.“Suicide is our way of saying to God, 'You can't fire me, I quit!'

6."Everythng is fair in love & war"

Old one. . . . .
New version
"Everything is war. . . .When love is fair . . . ! !"

7.When The Teacher Says "GET OUT"
It Means..

You Have Won The

8.Kids born after 2009: Mom, Can I see my photo-albums when I was a baby?

Mom: Sure! Let me login to facebook!

9.Top answers of Teachers

If they don't know the answers:

1)I think the question is wrong..
2)I Will tell you tomorrow..

3)Don't ask foolish questions..

4)You will study this in the next class..
And the most important one is:

5)Nice question,Raise your hands who know the Answer :)

10. attitude rocks!!!!

boy said: "i love you"..

girl said: "omg"

"wat a coincidence???"..

"i love myself too"

11.I've just enrolled on a course called "Understanding the Female Mind". It lasts a lifetime, costs you every last penny and has a 0% pass rate.

12. Universal truth we learnt:-

"sun rises in the east"


"sun neither rises nor sets, only earth rotates..!"


"Education ruins us!"

13. I don't need someone who is so matured to stop my immaturity.

14.Walk a mile in my shoes.. see what i see, hear what i hear, feel what i feel.. THEN maybe you'll understand why i do what i do.. till then don't judge me.

15.Being beside is better than fallowing...coz it will pleased to see ur smile and i can Help when you got truble in ur path.

16.I hate two-faced people. It makes it harder for me to decide which side to slap first.

17.If u laugh really loud, if u talk spontaneously and if u don't care what your face looks like...
-U r probably with your best buddies...

These cool as well as good Face book statuses have been gathered from some witty friends facebook updates who love to share funny and cool face book status.

18.'To win the hearts of others... you must lose some colours of your Ego. .

19.Nobody can take away your pain, so never let anybody take away your happiness

20.If 'U' need 'SPACE' then join 'NASA' Dear.

21.A husband gave the key of his new car to wife
with awarning

If u met with accident, newspapers will print your age!"

22.Renaming my iPod "The Titanic" so when it's plugged into my computer it'll say "The Titanic is syncing"

23.face book is the only place you can talk to a wall, and it talks back.

24.Why do women live longer than men? Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bills does.! :P

25.I need six months Vaccation,,,,,,,,twice a year........

1. I am always right.
2. Just in case if i am wrong see rule 1.


27.Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the decision right.

28.Corporate Fact-

When we Don't Do It On Time..
"We r Lazy"!


When Boss Doesn't Do It On Time...

"He Is Busy"



29. There are 4 things you can never recover: The stone..after the throw. The word..after it's said. The occasion..after it's missed. The time..after it's gone

30.When you have to make an important decision and you're not sure, flip a coin. Because when the coin is in the air, you realise what you are hoping for.

31.These two words will open many doors in life

"Push & Pull.."

32.I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a car and asked for forgiveness.

33 Whenever ppl like my facebook status, it gives me the sense that I might actually be funny. or they're liking it cuz I write dumb stuff.

34 Boys use the world "FRIENDSHIP" to start love...!and

Girls use this word"FRIENDSHIP" to end love...!!

Same word a different attitude..

35. Total Disaster

Two friends were walking but suddenly they stopped..

1St Freind: Ooh

my god!! my girl friend and my wife are coming together.

Second Friend: Damn!!! Mine tooo it :-)

36."If Sum1 Waits For U it Dosnt Mean that they Hve Nothing Else To Do..

It Just Means That Nothing Else is More Important Than U...

37.When you Focus On Problems, you will Have More Problems. When you Focus On Possibilities, you will Have More Opportunities.

38.Enjoy the little things in life............ for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things.............

39.IQ TEST!!

Some months hav 30 days,some months hav 31 days.
How many months hav 28 days??

40.NEWTON'S 4th LAW OF MOTION.........
there is no effect of gravity when someone is falling in love...

41.I love my problems.They are all only mine!!

42.The reason y parents don't allow there son 2 play with DOLLS is.bcoz they want 2 teach them that girls r not TOYS to play with...

43.I Adapt when Adapting is Required, I Learn when Learning is Required & I Blog when Blogging is Required!

44.I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

45.This is a survey... How many of you here are not 20 years old yet? Comment or like to let us know that you are not!

46.just got called by the mental hospital...they want ONE of my Facebook friends back...Who was it?

47.I'm perfect in my imperfections, secure in my insecurities, happy in my pain, strong in my weaknesses, and beautiful in my own way...I am ME!!!

48.Teacher: are you sleeping in my class? student: no, uh, a bug flew in my eye and I'm trying to suffocate it.

  49.just finished my 6 minute upper body workout-it was pretty easy:arm down,pick up food,arm up,put food in mouth, switch arms...

50. They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry ?

51.If you are still SINGLE. it is because GOD isn`t ready to share you yet.

Hope you like these great, funnyand best Facebook status updates and quotes, do share if you also have a funny one....

More to Enjoy:

Funny Quotes and Saying for a best laugh ever...

Romantic Things to say to your loved ones


Article Written By Neha Sadana

Neha loves writing for expertscolumn as she consider this writing website as one of the best platform for writers to get noticed and earn online.

Last updated on 30-07-2016 31K 1

Please login to comment on this post.
Save Environment By Saying No To Polythene Bags
Tattoo Cost And Pricing - How Much Does A Tattoo Cost?